A Journey to Living
It’s been a long, long journey
Love, light, beauty, joy
Pain, fear, doubt, suppression
Times when I didn’t know where to go
Who to see
What to believe in
Where to find love
There were times I forgot.
Lost,
Feeling broken,
Losing my identity
Disease.
Confusion.
I forgot.
How do I find it again?
Where do I go?
When it seems no one is there.
When it seems no one cares.
When I only see the ugliness that is out there.
Where do I go again?
Where do I find peace?
Where do I believe?
Am I lost in some distorted, aberrant stray thought
That leads me nowhere?
Are people laughing?
Worried I will never find my way back?
In a reality that repeats itself?
Day in, day out?
Is this all there is?
What have I forgotten?
We were taught to stay safe behind the locked door.
Curtains closed.
Yard barren but for resilient trees that refused to give up.
Continued, regardless of what people believed,
Continued to bear fruit. Prolific fruit.
It kept whispering to me,
“Don’t believe everything you see.
Believe in yourself.
Regardless of what surrounds you.
Don’t let others dictate what your world will be like. Is.
Create it.
Co-create it.
Sing it.
Work it.
Play it.”
And so, I began to listen to the whispers.
I heard, “Plant roses!”
Not within my yard.
Outside. Where cars drive by.
Where strangers walk past.
I sat. Began to till the soil.
At first it was hard.
We sang songs to ourselves, my husband and I.
We talked to the soil to ask what it might need to sing with us.
And, it spoke!
It told us what to do. What to bring to it.
A labor of love and co-creation began.
Encouraged with just the slightest whispers,
We began.
One by one, we planted roses.
Until all the plots were filled with beauty.
Fragrance. Welcome. Song.
Abundance. Healing. Strength.
Courage.
Inspiration.
Through it all, the resilient, undeterred fruit trees kept whispering, “Yes.”
“Now.” it said, “Believe in yourself.
Yes!
The songs you’ve learned to sing
Can be sung to yourself!
Sing to that within you that needs to remember.
To hear the songs of life and love again.
Yes!
When you forget, especially,
Sing again.
Look within.
You’ll find roses.
Beauty. Love. Life. Inspiration.
You will believe in yourself again.
You will believe in life again.
You will believe in humanity again.
Don’t give up.
Say Yes!”
©2005 N. Lanakila